I second the clear frame be at least a contributing factor, along with fit since you mentioned improvement with the hat. Between light leak and reflection from the bleed though it be worth trying a different one. Just take some blue painters tape and cover the frame and give it a try before giving up or spending money on a new frame/style.You'd be amazed at how much of your problem is the transparent frame. It puts a lot of light into that lens and into your eye. Been there, done that, still have a few that I wear when I can stand it.
I have deep water prizm and very sensitive eyes, great on sunny water. (I spend half the year on water).
Now, prizm black does really well for me, all of the dark Oakley lenses do.
The other possible, but very small chance is the lens is a sapphire and not deep water, especially that she had them custom built for you. The wrong lens could have got put back in the box, swapped out by employee or customer being slick. We have also had forum members mention getting the wrong lens directly from Oakley on more than one occasion. IF the the tape thing doesn't work, take your pair to the store and compare with another deep water prizm.